Why Indiana Jones didn't get tenure:

If you've seen any of the movies, read on.

January 22, 1939

Assistant Professor Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.
Department of Anthropology
Chapman Hall 227B
Marshall College

Dr. Jones:

As chairman of the Committee on Promotion and Tenure, I regret to inform you that your recent application for tenure has been denied by a vote of 6 to 1. Following past policies and procedures, proceedings from the committee's deliberations that were pertinent to our decision have been summarized below according to the assessment criteria.

Demonstrates suitable experience and expertise in chosen field:

The committee concurred that Dr. Jones does seem to possess a nearly superhuman breadth of linguistic knowledge and an uncanny familiarity with the history and material culture of the occult. However, his understanding and practice of archaeology gave the committee the greatest cause for alarm. Criticisms of Dr. Jones ranged from "possessing a perceptible methodological deficiency" to "practicing archaeology with a complete lack of, disregard for, and colossal ignorance of current methodology, theory, and ethics" to "unabashed grave-robbing." Given such appraisals, perhaps it isn't surprising to learn that several Central and South American countries recently assembled to enact legislation aimed at permanently prohibiting his entry.

Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist's tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.

Nationally recognized for an effectual program of scholarship or research supported by publications of high quality:

Though Dr. Jones conducts "field research" far more often than anyone else in the department, he has consistently failed to report the results of his excavations, provide any credible evidence of attending the archaeological conferences he claims to attend, or produce a single published article in any peer-reviewed journal. Someone might tell Dr. Jones that in academia "publish or perish" is the rule. Shockingly, there is little evidence to date that Dr. Jones has successfully excavated even one object since he arrived at Marshall College. Marcus Brody, curator of our natural-history museum, assured me this was not so and graciously pointed out several pieces in the collection that he claimed were procured through Dr. Jones's efforts, but, quite frankly, we have not one shred of documentation that can demonstrate the provenance or legal ownership of these objects.

Meets professional standards of conduct in research and professional activities of the discipline:

The committee was particularly generous (and vociferous) in offering their opinions regarding this criterion. Permit me to list just a few of the more troubling accounts I was privy to during the committee's meeting. Far more times than I would care to mention, the name "Indiana Jones" (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia. There are a plethora of international criminal charges against Dr. Jones, which include but are not limited to: bringing unregistered weapons into and out of the country; property damage; desecration of national and historical landmarks; impersonating officials; arson; grand theft (automobiles, motorcycles, aircraft, and watercraft in just a one week span last year); excavating without a permit; countless antiquities violations; public endangerment; voluntary and involuntary manslaughter; and, allegedly, murder.

Dr. Jones's interpersonal skills and relationships are no better. By Dr. Jones's own admission, he has repeatedly employed an underage Asian boy as a driver and "personal assistant" during his Far East travels. I will refrain from making any insinuations as to the nature of this relationship, but my intuition insists that it is not a healthy one, nor one to be encouraged. Though the committee may have overstepped the boundaries of its evaluation, I find it pertinent to note that Dr. Jones has been romantically linked to countless women of questionable character, an attribute very unbecoming of a Marshall College professor. One of these women was identified as a notorious nightclub singer whose heart he attempted to extract with his hands, and whom he then tried, and failed, to lower into a lake of magma. Another was a Nazi scholar he was seen courting just last year who, I'm told, plummeted into a fathomless abyss at Dr. Jones's hand. And, of course, no one can forget the slow decline and eventual death of Professor Abner Ravenwood after Dr. Jones's affair with Abner's underage daughter was made public, forcing her to emigrate to Nepal to escape the debacle.

Demonstrates successful record in undergraduate and graduate teaching:

In his nine years with the department, Dr. Jones has failed to complete even one uninterrupted semester of instruction. In fact, he hasn't been in attendance for more than four consecutive weeks since he was hired. Departmental records indicate Dr. Jones has taken more sabbaticals, sick time, personal days, conference allotments, and temporary leaves than all the other members of the department combined.

The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.

Establishment of an appropriate record of departmental and campus service:

Dr. Jones's behavior on campus has led not only to disciplinary action but also to concerns as to the state of his mental health. In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department. Perhaps most disturbing, however, are the statements that come directly from Dr. Jones's mouth. Several faculty members maintain that Dr. Jones informed them on multiple occasions of having discovered the Ark of the Covenant, magic diamond rocks, and the Holy Grail! When asked to provide evidence for such claims, he purportedly replied that he was "kind of immortal" and/or muttered derogatory statements about the "bureaucratic fools" running the U.S. government. Given his history with the Nazi Party, I fear where his loyalty lies.

- - - -

To summarize, the committee fails to recognize any indication that Dr. Jones is even remotely proficient when it comes to archaeological scholarship and practice. His aptitude as an instructor is questionable at best, his conduct while abroad is positively deplorable, and his behavior on campus is minimally better. Marshall College has a reputation to uphold. I need not say more.

My apologies,

Prof. G.L. Stevens
Chairman

He can still teach me archaeology.

Newfoundland and Labrador Tourism Ads

The recent commercials produced for Newfoundland and Labrador tourism absolutely blow me away. In particular the new ones for 2009. These are visually stunning masterpieces. They portray the rough, craggy landscapes of Newfoundland's shores in this eerie, magical way. 

One of my favourites is definitely the new one for L'Anse aux Meadows National Historic Site, located on the northernmost tip o' the island. It's the site of a short-lived Viking settlement about 1000 years ago, similar to the one you may have heard of in Greenland. They've reconstructed the buildings discovered there by archaeologists, and filled them with costumed interpreters. My archaeology lab class recently had one of the blacksmiths who work at L'Anse aux Meadows come and give a talk on metalurgy.

This commerical does a great job of evoking a sense of history, adventure, excitement, and all those other good things. It shows a pack of kids, dressed in "newfie"-looking sweaters and such, exploring the abandoned Viking site. I'll just warn anyone who thinks that place is always so deserted that it is likely not so. 

heres the link to the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1Kgg0n_rck

You should definitely check it out.

The historic site itself is a place of pride and identity for locals. Here's an example of a community brought together, and benefiting from the archaeological heritage of their region. We need more like this. Ontario has a few places like this as well, such as Black Creek Pioneer Village, Lang Village, Crawford Lake Iroquoian village, and Sainte-Marie among the Hurons, to name a few.

The downside of this commercial, of course, is that it doesnt do much for the non-European archaeological heritage of the province. But this is a poorly-known period in Canadian history, so it does deserve an ad campaign of its own.

Look what I made!

These are photos of my first attempt at a very difficult projectile point. I tried to make a Gainey style "fluted" point (ca. 11 500 - 10 000 years old), and almost suceeded - one side is partially fluted. I tried the other side, and failed, so I figured I'd better get some pictures of it before I try again and break the damned thing. This point was made on obsidian (courtesy of Scott), and I used a combination of antler and copper tools to knap it. Definitely my best piece yet! If I can get that other side fluted I'll get another picture.

After reading my last post, I decided it was a little harsh. There are more benefits to consulting archaeology than just salvaging archaeological remains before their inevitable destruction. One aspect of this sort of archaeology that I have personally benefited from is the fact that archaeology firms hire students. For many, many young people getting their start in the field, this is the best way to do it. Very quickly, employees of these firms are introduced to a huge variety of surveying and excavation techniques, important things to learn considering the largely theoretical instruction they'll receive at university.

more later.

For Chad: Cultural Resource Management (CRM)

Chad was asking me yesterday about archaeological surveys and how they relate to overal environmental assessments.

"2. The Minister, the council of a municipality, a local board, a planning board and the Municipal Board, in carrying out their responsibilities under this Act, shall have regard to, among other matters, matters of provincial interest such as... (d) the conservation of features of significant architectural, cultural, historical, archaeological or scientific interest"

The preceding is an excerpt from the beginning of the Ontario Planning Act (1990). This is a very important piece of legislation. Essentially, it means that individuals and companies wishing to develop pieces of land are legally obligated to have an archaeological survey of the property done, as well as the better-known ecological assessments. Ron Williamson discusses this a bit more here. The idea is that if archaeological remains exist on a property (either above or beneath the surface fot he ground), a well-executed sampling of the area by professional archaeologists should locate them. Depending on the "significance" (a relative term) of the site, the archaeologist may choose to excavate it, but more often then not a sample of the site is all that's required.

Since the passing of this legislation, a booming industry in consulting archaeology has developed. There are dozens of private firms, some large, most of them small, who do surveys every year for countless development projects across the province (similar laws exist in other provinces as well). It's a competetive industry. Large projects are essentially auctioned off to the lowest bidder. Most developers want archaeology to be fast, cheap, and to not interfere with the timeline of their project. The results?

1. Shoddy work - Developers will make friends with archaeology firms that they know will do their projects fast and not interfere. Surveys are speedily done, sites are scraped off the land with heavy machinery, reports are submitted to the Ministry of Culture, and the development project is Ok'd to continue.

2. Lack of consultation - Although a minority of firms bravely navigate these often-stormy waters, the majority will practice little to no consultation with local First Nations communities. And why would they, with such tight budgets? There's no incentive, other than of course developing positive relationships with First Nations instead of shunning and alienating them.

3. Lack of publication - A LARGE portion of archaeology done in Ontario is done by these private firms. You can imagine the amount of arhcaeological material recovered and processed by these companies, especially the larger ones. Yet with all that fieldwork to do, and so little time to do it, very little of that material is ever properly analyzed and reported on. Again, there's no incentive.

4. Storage issues - All those sticks and stones have to be stored somewhere. Most end up in boxes, in basements, in rented out storage units. I'm not aware of any large-scale repatriation efforts at this point (if you are, pleace comment!).

All of that said, the alternative to CRM would be much worse. No protection would mean that no sites are safe. This way, at least, we can stay one step ahead of urban sprawl.

It's everywhere.

Contrary to what many people think, archaeology is everywhere. At any given time, we are surrounded by the remains of people who lived before us. Having done field work in Ontario for the last three summers, I know when I see a farmer's field that there is likely something hidden there, beneath the surface. Think about that. The house you live in may have been built on an archaeological site (it may be a site in itself depending on the age!). Ancient relics and lost cities are by no means confined to the deserts of Egypt or the jungles of Central America. The majority of them around here are just less visible.
Here's one example of something a little more visible, for my fellow residents of the beautiful City of Peterborough. On Brock Street, just west of George, across from the Price Chopper, lies a large boulder with a palque bearing these words:

THE BROCK STREET BURIAL:

"Here on December 6, 1960, the skeletal remains of a man who lived in this area about 2000 years ago were discovered by Douglas Yaxley of Peterborough. Buried with the man were twenty-nine artifacts attributed to the Point Penninsula culture which occupied the Trent River system before the Christian era."

Just one of many Indigenous and non-Indigenous people buried beneath our streets and buildings, only this guy was unlucky enough to be in the way of an earth mover. According to my "sources," the poor guy's remains are now in a "simulated burial" case at the Peterborough Centennial Museum. This may or may not be true... one would think in this political climate that his remains would have been repatriated by now. I'll have to check. Anyway, next time you're leaving Price Chopper, made miserable by the miserable people in that store, stop by the site of the Brock Street Burial, and try to imagine a time before Brock Street. Give the man a name, think about his family, imagine his home.

My First Entry

Hi there.

This is my first attempt at blogging. I don't really consider myself the blogging type, but I'm giving it a shot. My roommate has a pretty decent one, which is what inspired me to try this out.

I asked him earlier today, "If I had a blog, what would it be about?" Although I was joking at the time, I thought more about it later and came up with this idea. If I'm going to spend hours writing about stuff on the internet (when I should be doing things like schoolwork instead), it had damned well better be something I'm interested in. As my failed attempt at a title for this blog implies, I'm interested in ancient things, particularly in my home country.

I'm a student at Trent University, studying archaeology. I have a particular interest in Ontario and Canadian archaeology. Really, though, I'm fascinated by all things past. Growing up, my Dad would take my brother and I fossil hunting. I pretty much grew up in the Royal Ontario Museum - we were members for years. The dinosaur exhibit and the ancient Egypt exhibit were my favourites. At the time, it all seemed related. Dinosaurs are old, so are ancient Egyptians. I know now, of course, that the studying of these two things takes place in vastly separate disciplines of research. Of course a large portion of people, upon hearing my chosen field, comment on how much they loved dinosaurs when they were kids, too. When I correct them, and tell them that archaeology is the study of humans in the past, most switch their thinking to Egypt. Most can't understand what there would be dig right here, in their own backyards, underneath their modern Canadian cities.

This is completely understandable, of course. Public knowledge is greatly influenced by large institutions like museums, where the type of material they have is the type of material they will tend to display. The Royal Ontario Museum has lots of dinosaurs - it's one of their big selling features - and so dinosaurs what many patrons of the museum will associate with antiquity. On a less innocent level, centuries of racially-motivated governmental policy concerning the First Nations peoples of Canada has resulted a severe lack of First Nations history taught in our schools. People just don't realize what kind of history we have here. They don't realize that (according to scientific evidence) people have lived on this continent for over 13 000 years - that's triple the age of Khufu's Pyramid at Giza. They don't realize that there were Indigenous peoples here before the fur trade. They don't realize that millenia before their Toronto condo was built, ice age hunters were stalking caribou and mammoth on the shores of Lake Ontario.

But like I said, it's understandable - public education has failed people in many ways, and this is just one of them. I often feel that Canadians, and Ontarians more specifically, have a chronic and severe lack of historical understanding and identity. People elsewhere in the world, Greece or Italy for example, are literally immersed in visual reminders of their own history and cultural identity. I would assume that the average school curriculum on Rome devotes a large chunk of time and energy toward the teaching of ancient Roman history. How could they not, with features like the Colloseum dominating the cityscape? But are elementary or high school students in Ontario even introduced to the antiquity of their own province? Not once. Not in my experience at least. Canadian history began with Cartier, so I was told. The Natives were important only in that they saved his men from scurvy, and later traded beaver pelts to the Europeans so they could make nice hats. After that, they disappeared. So I was told at my public school in Ontario.

This lack of understanding results in the devastation of a landscape rich in archaeological material (it also results in the continued marginilization and misunderstanding of First Nations peoples, but that's a topic for another blog). In Ontario, and indeed in much of the rest of the world, histories and stories go untold. Case in point: in the 1970s, a series of sites were excavated by Dr. Peter Storck, now Curator Emeritus at the ROM. Storck's specialization was in the first people to inhabit the province, at a time known as the early "Paleoindian Period" (ca. 11 500 - 10 000 years ago). One of the sites he excavated was called the Banting Site - so named for the fact that the site occurred on the farmstead of Sir Frederick Banting's birth. The site was partially excavated, and then left alone. Now a team of contract archaeologists are hurrying to finish excavations at the Banting site, because very soon there will be a Wal-Mart, or a parking lot, or some other eyesore right on top of that property. So, here we have not only evidence of Ontario's earliest inhabitants, something the most people will never have the chance to see and understand, as well as the historic homestead of a Canadian Nobel Laureate who co-discovered insulin. And both will soon be under asphalt. You see what I mean? It's this apathetic view toward history that drives me up the f$#@ing wall. Did anyone consider an interpretive centre? A small museum? Some funded by the public, and intended for the public, to further our understanding of this place we live, and all its past uses? No, no one considered those things, they just bent over and let the Smart Centre people... take advantage. I could name a dozen other examples, but I won't bore you.

Anyway, I should wrap this first post up. I think the goal of this blog will be to make issues and news in Canadian history important and relevant for people. I want to encourage people to see beyond the modern gridlines of roads and suburbs, and consider the meanings and histories embedded in this landscape by countless generations of people. I want people to know that archaeology is more than just digging up bits of stone and bone - it's bridging the gap between the people who lived here before us, and our naive modern society that too often turns a blind eye to them. Oh, and most importantly, archaeologists DON'T DIG DINOSAURS.