
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Boyd Archaeological Field School

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Why Indiana Jones didn't get tenure:
If you've seen any of the movies, read on.
January 22, 1939
Assistant Professor Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.
Department of Anthropology
Chapman Hall 227B
Marshall College
Dr. Jones:
As chairman of the Committee on Promotion and Tenure, I regret to inform you that your recent application for tenure has been denied by a vote of 6 to 1. Following past policies and procedures, proceedings from the committee's deliberations that were pertinent to our decision have been summarized below according to the assessment criteria.
Demonstrates suitable experience and expertise in chosen field:
The committee concurred that Dr. Jones does seem to possess a nearly superhuman breadth of linguistic knowledge and an uncanny familiarity with the history and material culture of the occult. However, his understanding and practice of archaeology gave the committee the greatest cause for alarm. Criticisms of Dr. Jones ranged from "possessing a perceptible methodological deficiency" to "practicing archaeology with a complete lack of, disregard for, and colossal ignorance of current methodology, theory, and ethics" to "unabashed grave-robbing." Given such appraisals, perhaps it isn't surprising to learn that several Central and South American countries recently assembled to enact legislation aimed at permanently prohibiting his entry.
Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist's tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.
Nationally recognized for an effectual program of scholarship or research supported by publications of high quality:
Though Dr. Jones conducts "field research" far more often than anyone else in the department, he has consistently failed to report the results of his excavations, provide any credible evidence of attending the archaeological conferences he claims to attend, or produce a single published article in any peer-reviewed journal. Someone might tell Dr. Jones that in academia "publish or perish" is the rule. Shockingly, there is little evidence to date that Dr. Jones has successfully excavated even one object since he arrived at Marshall College. Marcus Brody, curator of our natural-history museum, assured me this was not so and graciously pointed out several pieces in the collection that he claimed were procured through Dr. Jones's efforts, but, quite frankly, we have not one shred of documentation that can demonstrate the provenance or legal ownership of these objects.
Meets professional standards of conduct in research and professional activities of the discipline:
The committee was particularly generous (and vociferous) in offering their opinions regarding this criterion. Permit me to list just a few of the more troubling accounts I was privy to during the committee's meeting. Far more times than I would care to mention, the name "Indiana Jones" (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia. There are a plethora of international criminal charges against Dr. Jones, which include but are not limited to: bringing unregistered weapons into and out of the country; property damage; desecration of national and historical landmarks; impersonating officials; arson; grand theft (automobiles, motorcycles, aircraft, and watercraft in just a one week span last year); excavating without a permit; countless antiquities violations; public endangerment; voluntary and involuntary manslaughter; and, allegedly, murder.
Dr. Jones's interpersonal skills and relationships are no better. By Dr. Jones's own admission, he has repeatedly employed an underage Asian boy as a driver and "personal assistant" during his Far East travels. I will refrain from making any insinuations as to the nature of this relationship, but my intuition insists that it is not a healthy one, nor one to be encouraged. Though the committee may have overstepped the boundaries of its evaluation, I find it pertinent to note that Dr. Jones has been romantically linked to countless women of questionable character, an attribute very unbecoming of a Marshall College professor. One of these women was identified as a notorious nightclub singer whose heart he attempted to extract with his hands, and whom he then tried, and failed, to lower into a lake of magma. Another was a Nazi scholar he was seen courting just last year who, I'm told, plummeted into a fathomless abyss at Dr. Jones's hand. And, of course, no one can forget the slow decline and eventual death of Professor Abner Ravenwood after Dr. Jones's affair with Abner's underage daughter was made public, forcing her to emigrate to Nepal to escape the debacle.
Demonstrates successful record in undergraduate and graduate teaching:
In his nine years with the department, Dr. Jones has failed to complete even one uninterrupted semester of instruction. In fact, he hasn't been in attendance for more than four consecutive weeks since he was hired. Departmental records indicate Dr. Jones has taken more sabbaticals, sick time, personal days, conference allotments, and temporary leaves than all the other members of the department combined.
The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.
Establishment of an appropriate record of departmental and campus service:
Dr. Jones's behavior on campus has led not only to disciplinary action but also to concerns as to the state of his mental health. In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department. Perhaps most disturbing, however, are the statements that come directly from Dr. Jones's mouth. Several faculty members maintain that Dr. Jones informed them on multiple occasions of having discovered the Ark of the Covenant, magic diamond rocks, and the Holy Grail! When asked to provide evidence for such claims, he purportedly replied that he was "kind of immortal" and/or muttered derogatory statements about the "bureaucratic fools" running the U.S. government. Given his history with the Nazi Party, I fear where his loyalty lies.
- - - -
To summarize, the committee fails to recognize any indication that Dr. Jones is even remotely proficient when it comes to archaeological scholarship and practice. His aptitude as an instructor is questionable at best, his conduct while abroad is positively deplorable, and his behavior on campus is minimally better. Marshall College has a reputation to uphold. I need not say more.
My apologies,
Prof. G.L. Stevens
Chairman
He can still teach me archaeology.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Newfoundland and Labrador Tourism Ads
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Look what I made!


Friday, April 24, 2009
For Chad: Cultural Resource Management (CRM)
"2. The Minister, the council of a municipality, a local board, a planning board and the Municipal Board, in carrying out their responsibilities under this Act, shall have regard to, among other matters, matters of provincial interest such as... (d) the conservation of features of significant architectural, cultural, historical, archaeological or scientific interest"
The preceding is an excerpt from the beginning of the Ontario Planning Act (1990). This is a very important piece of legislation. Essentially, it means that individuals and companies wishing to develop pieces of land are legally obligated to have an archaeological survey of the property done, as well as the better-known ecological assessments. Ron Williamson discusses this a bit more here. The idea is that if archaeological remains exist on a property (either above or beneath the surface fot he ground), a well-executed sampling of the area by professional archaeologists should locate them. Depending on the "significance" (a relative term) of the site, the archaeologist may choose to excavate it, but more often then not a sample of the site is all that's required.
Since the passing of this legislation, a booming industry in consulting archaeology has developed. There are dozens of private firms, some large, most of them small, who do surveys every year for countless development projects across the province (similar laws exist in other provinces as well). It's a competetive industry. Large projects are essentially auctioned off to the lowest bidder. Most developers want archaeology to be fast, cheap, and to not interfere with the timeline of their project. The results?
1. Shoddy work - Developers will make friends with archaeology firms that they know will do their projects fast and not interfere. Surveys are speedily done, sites are scraped off the land with heavy machinery, reports are submitted to the Ministry of Culture, and the development project is Ok'd to continue.
2. Lack of consultation - Although a minority of firms bravely navigate these often-stormy waters, the majority will practice little to no consultation with local First Nations communities. And why would they, with such tight budgets? There's no incentive, other than of course developing positive relationships with First Nations instead of shunning and alienating them.
3. Lack of publication - A LARGE portion of archaeology done in Ontario is done by these private firms. You can imagine the amount of arhcaeological material recovered and processed by these companies, especially the larger ones. Yet with all that fieldwork to do, and so little time to do it, very little of that material is ever properly analyzed and reported on. Again, there's no incentive.
4. Storage issues - All those sticks and stones have to be stored somewhere. Most end up in boxes, in basements, in rented out storage units. I'm not aware of any large-scale repatriation efforts at this point (if you are, pleace comment!).
All of that said, the alternative to CRM would be much worse. No protection would mean that no sites are safe. This way, at least, we can stay one step ahead of urban sprawl.
It's everywhere.

Contrary to what many people think, archaeology is everywhere. At any given time, we are surrounded by the remains of people who lived before us. Having done field work in Ontario for the last three summers, I know when I see a farmer's field that there is likely something hidden there, beneath the surface. Think about that. The house you live in may have been built on an archaeological site (it may be a site in itself depending on the age!). Ancient relics and lost cities are by no means confined to the deserts of Egypt or the jungles of Central America. The majority of them around here are just less visible.
Here's one example of something a little more visible, for my fellow residents of the beautiful City of Peterborough. On Brock Street, just west of George, across from the Price Chopper, lies a large boulder with a palque bearing these words:
THE BROCK STREET BURIAL:
"Here on December 6, 1960, the skeletal remains of a man who lived in this area about 2000 years ago were discovered by Douglas Yaxley of Peterborough. Buried with the man were twenty-nine artifacts attributed to the Point Penninsula culture which occupied the Trent River system before the Christian era."
Just one of many Indigenous and non-Indigenous people buried beneath our streets and buildings, only this guy was unlucky enough to be in the way of an earth mover. According to my "sources," the poor guy's remains are now in a "simulated burial" case at the Peterborough Centennial Museum. This may or may not be true... one would think in this political climate that his remains would have been repatriated by now. I'll have to check. Anyway, next time you're leaving Price Chopper, made miserable by the miserable people in that store, stop by the site of the Brock Street Burial, and try to imagine a time before Brock Street. Give the man a name, think about his family, imagine his home.
